Super Villian Beard

Ever wonder what makes people turn into a super villian? I know exactly what would turn me into a super villian - the inability to grow a proper beard. It's part of the reason I don't try.

At first glance, a few days growth doesn't look so bad. But let's look closer:

For some reason, this beard 85% of the way back. It seems like it just gives up before it gets all the way across towards the ear line. Grow it out, and you have an annoying spot on both sides of the head, where the cold bitter winds can still freeze your brain, while you are out on the lam.

What beard wearing super villain wants to have bald patches in the beard? You grow it, you want it to fill in. Not the case in this beard. Lots of areas that don't need to be shaved. It's just places on the face for you arch nemesis to mock you with. Keep growing it, it just looks funnier and funnier. Big thick beard, big bald patch. It's one thing to have the bald patch on the top of the head, it's another to have it in the beard.

The world can thank me later for shaving on a regular basis now...