Wardrobe malfunction

I've been thinking about shirts today. And pants. White dress shirts, and suit pants. Here's the problem: When I wear my suit pants, I always feel like they are bout the fall down to my ankles when I get up from sitting. White shirts never seem to fit quite right, I have a couple that refuse to stay fully buttoned. Both of these can be a problem when you are trying to limit your 'exposure'...

I don't know why I have such problems with my suit pants. I wear belts, but I must just stand up funny or something. Up I go, and I feel the irresistible pull of gravity tugging on the pant legs. I guess I should be wearing suspenders or something. I can have the pants cinched tight, the feeling doesn't escape.

I have three kinds of white shirts. The first fits very nicely everywhere but the arms. The arms on that shirt are too short. The shirt tails are nice and long, the shirt stays tucked in at all times, which is a plus when you think your pants are going to fall down. I wore the collar on this shirt out, because I had worn it so much. It was really nice when I didn't wear suits to church all the time, I would just roll the sleeves up, and off I would go. The only other drawback to this shirt is that it was a little thicker fabric or something, when I wear it with a suit coat, my insides melt from the broiler that is generated. I would get more of this kind of shirt, if the shirt wasn't so hot to wear.

I have another kind of shirt, that it lighter weight, and pretty much fits everywhere, except for the fact that I think they ended the shirt one button short at the bottom. I am always having the bottom button come undone. Combine that which a belt that is cinched up to avoid a pantsing, and the shirt starts moving around in various directions. No one really wants to see my belly. I think this is the main reason ties wear invented. Men started wearing them so you can't see that one of their shirt buttons have come undone. That's why people look uncomfortable in a tuxedo. Sure, you have a cumber bun on that helps with the pants problem, but right there, out in the open to the world are your shirt buttons.

The third kind of shirt I have is slightly narrow in the neck, and a little too short on me. The buttons stay buttoned, but the bottom of the shirt gets exposed when the pants do their thing. Maybe I need longer shirts or something. Like the kind that go down to your kneecaps. I am always wanting to unbutton the top button on this shirt.

There you go. Your "too much information" quota for the day. Maybe I should just suck it up and go shopping, of all things, for new shirts. And some suspenders. I don't even know where most of these shirts came from. Tara has the unenviable task of trying to buy me normal clothes from time to time. Maybe I shouldn't complain until I have walked a mile in her shopping moccasins...

I can see Adam being the exact same way as me some day. He does want to wear his church clothes one minute more than he has to. He gets home from church, and is immediately ready for someone to help him get the clothes off. Today Tara rolled his sleeves up on his shirt, he seemed to like that pretty well.