Good Blog Fodder

I have finally discovered a good use for the airlines. They are good for blog fodder.

I've been looking at flights to Orlando for a couple of months, prices have been higher than I've been super happy about. Add that to the myriad of extra fees the airlines have been coming up with, and it can be very easy to get into trouble. Yesterday I bought our tickets on Southwest airlines. The price was about $30 more or so than I could have gotten, but they won't be charging us for things like the following possible fees:

• "Carry on medical equipment fee" - assessed for holding my Bi-Pap in my arms while traveling so it doesn't get damaged.
• "Sitting together fee" - For having the gall to purchase 2 tickets next to each other on a plane
• "Kitty Hawk Commemoration fee" - no explanation, just a fee. Like the "Safe Driver" fee I pay to register my car.
• "No Fly fee" - For every time they have to clear me to fly. Just a fee for people like me, who have problems getting checked in, but have no paid to get into the (recently reported comprimised, but then again maybe not) "Clear" system.
• "Baggage handling fee" - for when they start charging for all checked baggage. Did I hear an airline already started this?
• "Because We Can fee" - trust me, it's only a matter of time.

I took my parents and Grandmother to the airport this morning. When they came over for me to drive them up, my Dad gave me a hat and white noise machine of my Moms to store in the house until she comes out next time. I took it to a cubby in the back room and headed out of the house. I decided that the hat would get smashed there, and went back to move it to my closet, where it would be safer. While taking it to my closet, I noticed something brown in the hat. It ended up being my Dad's wallet. Extra round trip to the airport avoided.

When we got to the airport, there was some confusion about "Northwest" and "Northwest operated by Skywest". There were no signs for Skywest, I dropped them off at terminal 1. While driving up to terminal 2, the Skywest signs finally showed up. I called my Mom's cell phone to let them know they were at thee wrong place, but her phone started ringing in the car. She had forgotten it. I drove around the airport to get to the parking to go in.

I met up with them, they had discovered the mistake as well, or were directed away by the Northwest people. When we got to the Delta/Skywest counters, all the very helpful Delta employees were sticking to the single "Have you tried checking in at the kiosk?" question/answer/party line. (Q - "Is this where we check in for Skywest?" A - "Have you tried checking in at the kiosk?") I was able to help Grandma get checked in at the kiosk, I tried getting her to take one bag as carry on so she didn't have to pay $25 for it, but she didn't want to deal with it.

The kiosk refused to acknowledge my Mom and Dad's existence. The baggage collection counter lady didn't want to acknowledge their existence, either. I assumed is was a taint from their association with me. We went back to the Delta ticket counter line, and after getting past the "Have you tried checking in at the kiosk?" question, they were directed to another line, where all they had was one employee at the counter, talking to some other dude. It appeared to be a shorter line, but it nearly turned out to almost not be a faster line. Eventually another employee came around, and asked us if we had tried checking in at the kiosk yet. My Dad's reply was "Yes, we are frustrated and disgusted now." When she got around to looking up their reservation, she was very clear to say "I don't see anything wrong with your reservation here", implying my parents had done something wrong trying to check in. (See? This is where a future fee will be assessed. "The airline has decided that you are too stupid to check in on your own." $25.)

I hear there was more hijinks the rest of the trip home. Their flight was delayed a long time. Their luggage didn't make it home. I will leave the rest of the details for them to describe, if they want to. We'll see what happens next month when Tara and I actually try to take a trip...