Have I mentioned that my spacebar does not work consistantly?

I am suposedly getting a new laptop in the next week or so. Mine has a number of problems. I have had the system board replaced 4 times in the 2 years I have had it. One of the times, it was shocking me every time I touched it. Then I gave me a REALLY good shock and the sound went out. I had Dell send someone out, some knuclehead came and spent 5 hours replacing the thing. He had to get another computer, and log into Dell's site so he could go step-by-step through it.

The last time it broke, I was holding it by the tab that shuts the laptop, and the tab broke. The laptop went tumbling across the room. The wireless went out. This time, I didn't want the Forrest Gump coming back to work on it, so I had one of our department CSR's take care of it. He only spent 90 minutes replacing the wireless and the system board.

He didn't get the case on right. I have a nice little warp in it along the 0-P-L-.- line. I use my right thumb for the spacebar exclusively, (I didn't go to typing school, I am self taught.) and sometimes it doesn't quite get hit hard enough to register. Mostly it happens after I have been using a different keyboard.

It took me 6 weeks after the repair to get the thing to run at 1.6 Ghz again. It was running at 600 Mhz. Part of getting that fixed involved me doing something to my Windows installation inside VMWAre so that anytime I open something that involves audio or video, and Windows crashes. It's kind of fun. We were in the office about 10 days ago making fun of the Windows guy, (who runs Linux on his laptop like the rest of us, by the way) and he was telling us that at least we don't see the "blue screen of death" as much anymore. I said "Oh, yeah?" and proceeded to show him how I could create it at will. He chalcked it up to a Unix guy running Windows, and I won't dispute that, I just think it's funny. Anyway, the "Office Assistant" in our building came around to talk about laptops, I told her my story, and I am first on the list.

I guess the moral of the story is: Use me to do you Unix/Linux sysadmin, but don't let me touch your windows servers, laptops, desktops, etc. My track record with laptops is especially bad, the one before this got root beer dumped in it, it was never the same after that. I feel sorry for the student who got it after me, or the person who bought it at the Surplus sale...